Category: Joke Board
Shopping at Tesco
One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I
suppose I'd better see a Doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. There's a
new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes
ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a
doctor
and you get Club card points."
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He
deposits five pounds and the computer lights up an asks for the urine
sample. He
pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:- "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat,
and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposited
five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.
The computer printed the following:-
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet.
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.
lol, good one, Cam loved it *smile*
hahaha. that was grate
humourous, and for some reason, the fact you have Tesco in Canada, humoured me equally as much...don't know why
andy, we don't have tesco in canada. I got that sent to me in an email
ah damn, well...damn. fair enough
i have no idea what tesco is. but. fuckin roflmao